The original odd one out!

[disenchantedenchantress]

So why is this Enchantress so Disenchanted?

Ever feel like the square peg trying fit into the round hole? Well, imagine feeling like a dodecahedron!

I have always felt like the odd one out. As a child, throughout secondary school (very much so), through Uni, work and basically all aspects of my life. While I am not exactly dissatisfied with my lot, but sometimes I just, well, wonder if I am on the right path and is this it?

I have this bizarre aversion of being accused of copying people, so if friends of mine have done/studied/experienced something before me, I have a real problem with then studying the same thing. Part of the problem is that I am scared of getting something wrong and looking like a prat.  Another is that I like being original, but there isn't really anything original anymore.  I know that my friends that have studied stuff before me aren't going to frown on me if I am interested in the same stuff. Hell, one of the reasons we are friends is because we have similar interests, but all the same, I suppose I like being a leader rather than a follower in most aspects of my life! It's all a bit pathetic really, and something I should get over!

So what am I interested in? Unencumbered by what others have studied already.

• Thelema
• Voudoun
• Folk Magic
• Ogham
• Runes
• Hekate (however part of me is wondering if I am just copying mates, even if She does look very interesting. I have had no Calling from Her as such.)
• Herbalism
• Starting up a Group

And that's just off the top of my head.

I have just reread all that, and actually it's quite amusing that on one hand I am complaining about always being the odd one out, and then on the other saying I want to be original!! Make up your mind, woman!!! :P

Comments

[elle]

I'm slowly making my way through your entries here, so even if I'm not commenting, I am reading.

I find the weird thing about people is everyone, and I do mean everyone, in some manner feels like the odd one out. I don't say that to belittle how you feel, it's just an observation.

I've always felt like the odd one out too, even amongst those groups who are made up of odd people out. But then I began thinking perhaps it was just how I was perceiving myself and not necessarily how others perceive me. People will mirror back to you your self perceptions and when I began realising this, I began to realise that maybe I'm not such the odd one out all the time.

On the other hand, I kind of like being odd one out sometimes. It makes me unique amongst the group. I can understand what you say about not wanting to study the things that your friends have studied, but bear in mind if everyone took that stance, no one will have learned anything! :) I hope you are able to study the things you want to. What sort of group are you wanting to start? Like a coven? Or something else?

[disenchantedenchantress]

I think I am feeling the Oddity more strongly at the moment, since all the people I really have any contact with are the other mums at school. And I am sure you can appreciate the feeling of not really belonging to that particular set. (Lots of Yummy Mummies and people more concerned about stuff I am so not interested in.) I did try and put feelers out for likeminded people in my local area, but even then the people I encountered were very nice, but we just didn't click that well.

However, like you say, I like being unique. Just gets a bit lonely sometimes. Which is probably one of the reasons why I want to start my own group up. Ultimately I would love it to be a coven, but I am happy to start with a fairly simple circle of likeminded people. It was something that I hoped UKDianics might offer, but we live all over the place, so it is difficult.

And again, you are right in saying that if no-one copied anyone else ever, no one would ever learn anything new. It is something I am going to have to get over, and just get on with!

It's nice just getting my thoughts out there. So thanks for reading and replying it, is much appreciated!

[elle]

"And I am sure you can appreciate the feeling of not really belonging to that particular set. (Lots of Yummy Mummies and people more concerned about stuff I am so not interested in.)"

Oh yea....I never belonged with that crowd either. And I understand about loneliness. Most of my friends are scattered to the winds. There's no one close by that I can just ring up and say, "Hey, do you want to get together for coffee or perhaps dancing naked under the full moon?" But I survive. I've found doing more open public rituals and ceremonies to be helpful because then I feel like I'm actually out there doing what I want to be doing instead of sitting at home thinking about it. Maybe that might be the thing for you? Host some open rituals and see where it goes?

Most welcome for the replies! xoxox