disenchantedenchantress

Certainly the worst beginning...My Hysterical Jugglings Blog- part 1 and then this, My Hysterical Jugglings Blog-part 2.

To say I am shellshocked would be an amazing understatement. I am wondering what to make of it all. I know we need to move out of here. A murder-suicide literally 8 foot away from us is very hard to get our heads round, and really do I want to get my head round it?

We MUST get out of here. I MUST find my calling, purpose, whatever you wanna call it. I can't take living here, like this anymore. But I don't want to take that step off the parapet and fall to my doom. (The way I am feeling at the moment is that I could get very very depressed, but I am conciously moving myself away from that ledge.)

I keep asking the Universe what it is trying to tell me, and I am trying to move towards what I think that is, but I am now wondering if I am just getting it very wrong. I am feeling very lost in the wilderness, and I just don't know what to do.

From www.gaiantarot.com/oracle/

The OPPORTUNITY	The CHALLENGE	The RESOLUTION

0 - the Seeker A new beginning You have the opportunity to start a new journey, with a beginner's mind. Is it time to hit the road, either metaphorically or literally? Every time you set out on a journey, even if it's only a one-day hike, you embark on a spiritual journey as well. Be open to all the twists and curves in the road ahead. Be ready for wonderful surprises. Be open-hearted, innocent, trusting and spontaneous. Take a risk! Before you is a brand new adventure — the chance for a fresh start and endless possibilities.	19 - the Sun Radiant joy You are being challenged to let your light shine in the world. You may find a big smile on your face. With a huge burst of energy, your spirit is shouting out a great big YES! Perhaps you have accomplished a long term goal or are receiving accolades and attention for the good work you have done. You are healthy, energetic and enthusiastic with a warm and generous heart. It's time to celebrate and get out and play in the sunshine. Sing, dance, make love, let your creativity flow. Shine on!	3 - the Gardener Sensuality, creativity, abundance Resolution comes in on a wave of great fertility and abundance. You are pregnant with new creations — an art form, a book, a project, even a baby. You embody both the nurturing Mother and the sensual Lover. You are a steward of the land when you plant, weed and nourish your garden in a sustainable manner. At harvest time, you offer the best possible of all foods to those whom you love. You are a hard worker, but you take great delight in the scent of lavender fields on a hot summer day and the dizzying riot of color, shapes and textures in the garden. You love your own body; you love your mate, your children, your friends, your community; you love the natural world around you. Your appetite for connection, sensuality and creativity seems boundless. The people around you are blessed to have you in their lives.