The original odd one out!

[disenchantedenchantress]

So why is this Enchantress so Disenchanted?

Ever feel like the square peg trying fit into the round hole? Well, imagine feeling like a dodecahedron!

I have always felt like the odd one out. As a child, throughout secondary school (very much so), through Uni, work and basically all aspects of my life. While I am not exactly dissatisfied with my lot, but sometimes I just, well, wonder if I am on the right path and is this it?

I have this bizarre aversion of being accused of copying people, so if friends of mine have done/studied/experienced something before me, I have a real problem with then studying the same thing. Part of the problem is that I am scared of getting something wrong and looking like a prat.  Another is that I like being original, but there isn't really anything original anymore.  I know that my friends that have studied stuff before me aren't going to frown on me if I am interested in the same stuff. Hell, one of the reasons we are friends is because we have similar interests, but all the same, I suppose I like being a leader rather than a follower in most aspects of my life! It's all a bit pathetic really, and something I should get over!

So what am I interested in? Unencumbered by what others have studied already.

• Thelema
• Voudoun
• Folk Magic
• Ogham
• Runes
• Hekate (however part of me is wondering if I am just copying mates, even if She does look very interesting. I have had no Calling from Her as such.)
• Herbalism
• Starting up a Group

And that's just off the top of my head.

I have just reread all that, and actually it's quite amusing that on one hand I am complaining about always being the odd one out, and then on the other saying I want to be original!! Make up your mind, woman!!! :P

Comments

[elle]

"And I am sure you can appreciate the feeling of not really belonging to that particular set. (Lots of Yummy Mummies and people more concerned about stuff I am so not interested in.)"

Oh yea....I never belonged with that crowd either. And I understand about loneliness. Most of my friends are scattered to the winds. There's no one close by that I can just ring up and say, "Hey, do you want to get together for coffee or perhaps dancing naked under the full moon?" But I survive. I've found doing more open public rituals and ceremonies to be helpful because then I feel like I'm actually out there doing what I want to be doing instead of sitting at home thinking about it. Maybe that might be the thing for you? Host some open rituals and see where it goes?

Most welcome for the replies! xoxox